Criminal Eminem
[Em] [C#dim] [C] [Em]
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I rated it intermediate, because C#dim is quite difficult to get on so fast :)
[Eminem]
A lot of people ask me.. stupid f**king questions
A lot of people think that.. what I say on records
or what I talk about on a record, that I actually do in real life
or that I believe in it
Or if I say that, I wanna kill somebody, that..
I'm actually gonna do it
or that I believe in it
Well, sh*t.. if you believe that
then I'll kill you
You know why?
Cause I'm a
[Em]CRIMINAL[C#dim]
[C]CRIMINAL
[Em]You god damn right
[Em]I'm a CRIMINAL[C#dim]
Yeah, I'm a [C]CRIMINAL[Em]
[Eminem]
[Em]My words are like a dagger with a jagged edge
[C#dim]That'll stab you in the head
whether you're a fag or lez
[C]Or the homosex, hermaph or a trans-a-vest
[Em]Pants or dress - hate fags? The answer's "yes"
Homophobic? Nah, you're just heterophobic
[C#dim]Staring at my jeans, watching my genitals bulging (Ooh!)
[C]That's my motherf**king balls, you'd better let go of em
[Em]They belong in my scrotum, you'll never get hold of em
Hey, it's me, Versace
Whoops, somebody shot me!
[C#dim]And I was just checking the mail
Get it? Checking the 'male'?
[C]How many records you expecting to sell
[Em]after your second LP sends you directly to jail?
C'mon!-- Relax guy, I like gay men
[C#dim]Right, Ken? Give me an amen (AAA-men!)
[C]Please Lord, this boy needs Jesus
[Em]Heal this child, help us destroy these demons
Oh, and please send me a brand new car
[C#dim]And a prostitute while my wife's sick in the hospital
[C]Preacher preacher, fifth grade teacher
[Em]You can't reach me, my mom can't neither
You can't teach me a goddamn thing cause
[C#dim]I watch TV, and Comcast cable
[C]and you ain't able to stop these thoughts
[Em]You can't stop me from topping these charts
And you can't stop me from dropping each March
[C#dim]with a brand new CD for these f**king retards
[C]Duhhh, and to think, it's just little ol' me
[Em]Mr. "Don't Give A f**k," still won't leave
[Cborus: Eminem (repeat 2X)]
I'm a [Em]CRIMINAL
Cause every time I write a rhyme, these people think it's a [C#dim]crime
to tell em what's on my mind - I guess I'm a [C]CRIMINAL
but I don't gotta say a word, I just flip em th[Em]e bird
and keep going, I don't take sh*t from no one
[Eminem]
[Em]My mother did drugs - hard-liquor, cigarettes, and speed
[C#dim]The baby came out - disfigured, ligaments indeed
[C]It was a seed who would grow up just as crazy as she
[Em]Don't dare make fun of that baby cause that baby was me
I'm a CRIMINAL - an animal caged who turned crazed
[C#dim]But how the f**k you supposed to grow up when you weren't raised?
[C]So as I got older and I got a lot taller
[Em]My dick shrunk smaller, but my balls got larger
I drink more liquor to f**k you up quicker
[C#dim]than you'd wanna f**k me up for saying the word ...
[C]My morals went thhbbpp when the president got oral
[Em]Sex in his Oval Office on top of his desk
Off of his own employee
Now don't ignore me, you won't avoid me
[C#dim]You can't miss me, I'm white, blonde-haired
and my nose is pointy
[C]I'm the bad guy who makes fun of people that die
[Em]in plane crashes and laughs
As long as it ain't happened to him
Slim Shady, I'm as crazy as Em
[C#dim]-inem and Kim combined - [*kcb*] the maniac's in
[C]Replacing the doctor cause Dre couldn't make it today
[Em]He's a little under the weather, so I'm taking his place
(Mm-mm-mmm!) Oh, that's Dre with an AK to his face
[C#dim]Don't make me kill him too and spray his brains all over the place
[C]I told you Dre, you should've kept that thang put away
[Em]I guess that'll teach you not to let me play with it, eh?
I'm a CRIMINAL
(Just play the chords while they interlude)
[Interlude Skit]
Aight look (uh huh) just go up in that motherf**ker
get the motherf**king money and get the f**k up outta there
[Eminem] Aight
I'll be right here waiting on you
[Eminem] Aight
Yo Em
[Eminem] What?!
Don't kill nobody this time
[Eminem] Awwright... god damn, f**k...
(whistling) how you doin'?
[Teller] HI, how can I help you?
[Eminem] Yeah I need to make a withdrawl
[Teller] Okay
[Eminem] Put the f**king money in the bag b**ch
and I won't kill you!
[Teller] What? Oh my god, don't kill me
[Eminem] I'm not gonna kill you b**ch, quit looking around...
[Teller] Don't kill me, please don't kill me...
[Eminem] I said I'm not gonna f**king kill you
Hurry the f**k up! [*BOOM*] Thank you!
[Eminem]
[Em]Windows tinted on my ride when I drive in it
[C#dim]So when I rob a bank, run out and just dive in it
[C]So I'll be disguised in it
And if anybody identifies [Em]the guy in it
I'll hide for five minutes
Come back, shoot the eyewitness
[C#dim]Fire at the private eye hired to pry in my business
[C]Die, b**ches, bastards, brats, pets
[Em]This puppy's lucky I didn't blast his ass yet [*dog wbines*]
If I ever gave a f**k, I'd shave my nuts
[C#dim]tuck my dick in between my legs and cluck
[C]You motherf**king chickens ain't brave enough
[Em]to say the stuff I say, so just tape it shut [*tape unrolls*]
sh*t, half the sh*t I say, I just make it up
[C#dim]To make you mad so kiss my white naked ass
[C]And if it's not a rapper that I make it as
[Em]I'ma be a f**king rapist in a Jason mask
Chorus * 2
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